Wednesday, 6 April 2011

** 10th day chaste **

i am in a very good mood as i type this post, because tomorrow i am off to stay with Master and i will be with Master for six days - i am very excited and very much looking forward to spending time with Master!

Today was mainly spent in London having lunch with a friend, seeing a film at the BFI and doing some special shopping for Master and that is what this post is mainly going to focus on.  Today was the final day of the LGBT Film Festival at the BFI and today's film was probably the film i enjoyed the least; nonetheless i enjoyed the opportunity to see it.  i'm a passionate supporter of queer film and i believe it's vital the queer community continues to support and encourage the arts within our community.  Film in particular is an integral part in promoting greater understanding of queer issues and of recording and documenting our history and ongoing struggles.

My political rant stated, my special shopping for Master is probably of more interest.  Master had stated that He wanted me to get a leather jockstrap and, admittedly at my suggestion, leather boots.  Given i was planning to come down to London for the film festival, Master was amenable to my purchasing these items today.  i was quite excited to be purchasing "kink" items at Master's requests.  My collection of gear is surprisingly small and what little i do have is mostly in Australia:  all i have in the UK is a vibrating butt plug, bicep leather strap, some cock rings, a butt plug, white jockstraps and a chastity device.  A rather small collection for a slave!  Knowing that i was purchasing items that Master wanted me to purchase made everything feel so much more exciting and i was keen to purchase the items:  after all, i want Master to be pleased when He looks at me!

There are two main fetish shops in London which i think are ideal for the type of clothing i was looking for.  The leather jockstrap i bought from RoB and although more expensive than the one in Expectations,  i think the RoB jockstrap looks quite hot, plus i liked the idea of the zip down the front.  RoB is quite an established leather and kink brand and i have previously shopped in both their Amsterdam and Berlin stores.  A picture of the jockstrap i bought:

This jockstrap is actually the first bit of leather fetish clothing per se i have actually owned so i am quite excited about.

The more interesting stuff happened in Expectations where i went to buy boots.  Leather boots can be quite expensive, particularly for new boots, so one of the reasons why i went to Expectations was because they sell used ex-military boots.  Of course, wearing used ex-military boots is quite hot as well!  There was really only one style of boot available, so thankfully Master was okay with them.  i had sent photos of jockstrap and boots to Master before making my purchases.  The boots i bought:

The first picture is of the boots in Expectations and the second photo is of the boots i bought.  i was very happy and excited with both purchases.  i already have black football socks from College sport which i can wear with the boots and plus i have the leather strap i can wear on my left bicep.  i think the whole ensemble together is quite and the coup de grace is my thick chain collar i wear in Master's presence.  Everything is black for the S&M colour according to the BDSM hanky code.  Hopefully i will have the opportunity to wear it all in public with Master at an appropriate occasion!  i have commented previously on how keen i am to experience being Master's slave in public.

Having purchased my required items, i was browsing through the sale rack in Expectations when i came across a full rubber suit (wrists to ankles, but not mits, boots or hood).  The store manager was keen to get rid of the item and offered it to me for £50.  i was very tempted and asked to try it one:  i think i look pretty good in it and it was certainly my size and an amazing price.  The only problem was that it only had one zipper and that zipper was from the front collar to the naval, there was no crotch zipper for any cock and ball or arse play, which very limited how useful the suit would have been for play.  Effectively for proper play, it would have to be removed.

Nonetheless i don't own any rubber and i was sorely tempted.  At the back of my mind however i was very conscious that Master's instructions to me were to get a leather jockstrap and boots; Master did not say "and pick up and rubber bargains if you find them".  So there was never any doubt in my mind that i would have to ask for Master's permission before i purchased the rubber suit.

After i removed the suit (itself not a simple task) i walked backed to the counter and the manager was keen for me to purchase and was talking about some small alterations that could be made on the sleeve length.  At this point, i did something that i feel very proud of myself for doing, and i am still on a bit of buzz for doing it as i type this now!  i thought to myself, "well you are in a leather kink shop that is targeted at gay BDSM, i'm not sure how much more a safer place you are going to get".  So i took a deep breath and very politely told the sales manager that as much as i loved the suit, it was not my decision to make and i would have to ask my Master for His thoughts and His permission.

And then i bounded up the stairs and tried to call Master.  Unfortunately Master's mobile went straight to voicemail so i was not able to speak to Master and get His permission or thoughts.  So i went back downstairs and explained to the friendly manager that i was unable to get in contact with my Master and therefore i could not take the suit today and then we discussed how i could ring up and order later etc.  And i paid for the boots and left.

My great revelation of about my owned status did not shock or surprise the store manager at all - if anything, i think it should how genuine i was ask because he asked for my email address to email me an invite to their MrB special event launch!  But it's something that i felt very proud of.  It was a great feeling to be able to confidently and assertively out myself to someone who is within the broader BDSM community and say i'm a slave and at least know they have some idea of significance of what i have told them.  i felt great.

The other thing i did while in the store was wear my vanilla collar over my shirt so that anyone looking at me could see the slave symbol on the chain.  Normally i wear it under my clothing but i felt that in a BDSM environment, Master would expect me to be more public.

One of the important things about slavery, in my view, is having a sensible understanding of when your Master's permission is required; particularly when you are operating in the vanilla world.  Today i maybe could have bought the suit off my own initiative; but i knew i could not.  This does not mean every time i go shopping i need Master's micro-level instructions, because i don't.  When i buy tinned soup i choose the flavours i like - if Master told me to buy something in particular i would do it without hesitation, but until then, i exercise sensible discretion.  Bondage and fetish clothing is very, very different in my opinion.  This is something that goes to the heart of what i share with Master and it was only right and proper that He make the decision for me.

As i start to settle more and more into the slave mindset, it starts to become more and more second nature to know when it is appropriate to seek Master's opinion and permission.  From the moment i thought about buying the rubber suit, i knew that it was a decision that properly lay with Master.

Today was a fantastic day.  i revelled in the opportunity to be publicly identified as Master's slave and to demonstrate in front of a third person that my will was subject to the overriding will of my Master.  i love the items i bought and i very much hope that Master loves them too.  This time tomorrow i will be with Master and i am just so excited.